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Marina Cristina Lazos

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"THIS UNFORTUNATE spiritual love reminds one of the little angels
in old paintings, which have only a head, then wings and nothing more.
These angels do nothing for want of hands, and cannot move forward,
seeing that there is only power enough in their wings to support them
motionless at a certain height."

               -Vladimir Solovyov, "The Meaning of Love"-

     "An angel!  --Nonsense!  Every man says that about his girl,
doesn't he?  And yet I am unable to tell you how perfect she is,
why she is perfect; enough, she has captivated all my senses.
     "So much simplicity with so much intelligence, so much kind-
ness with so much firmness, and such tranquility of soul together
with true life and activity."

               -Wolfgang von Goethe, "Werther"-


               Wyoming

City, you break, to see what I would do.
I would to Jewel Forest, which I knew.

The Airstream dream, married woman breakfast,
their mongrel laughing honest in its fur,
ragged teacher walking to the pasture
must mend the spoon and wire where we two were.

The man in the tin, inventor for sale,
brings existentialism to the boys,
and the serious, simple, stunning girl
oft drives her pretty friend out past all noise.

Some night on this already Western bay,
books read story, and throw it way away.

               -27 October, 1978-


               Rosebud

We should have met at American High,
you angular and critical of it.
I'd have been glued to bright dark loyalty,
your glass an ignorance of male divide.

My deck was five times shuffled, hers was merged:
the other night we joked over coffee.
Then egoistic night outside researched
with me the shapes that I had seen us say.

Too ordinary is the worldly auction
for Rosebud's close, high bid not to attend.
I give silver up to irrigation
of iron, wordy light on golden hen.

               -22 August, 1982-


               Poor Man's Jodie Foster

Interstate cuts across a sunlit land.
Winter-frozen mud has dried to rock.
Traveler steps half-aware from Greyhound.
His things are bruising his arms.

From hotel room to rooming house to trailer,
there's time and quiet to visit a cafe.
Beneath a Fifties sign, knees at the counter,
first names are served by generations.

The immigrant hopes for nothing, bread for bread.
Yet what is this?  An active torso
and glimmering of desert water interests us.
Someone is so companiable in a nice room.

As years go by we grow to bank on it:
Only that one type is to be thorough known.
The visitor's ship plunges in the despond.
However, his impressions are fed by the acts.

               -8 April, 1984-


               Final Sequel

The hope for brotherhood discredited,
and midgets from Foundations on the roll -
O dear Deborah of the free market,
I'm sure that I, that you could save my soul.

The pounding of those waves has washed the sand,
and so I know your look, your walk, your voice.
With time alone you'd lose the need you'd find,
unless as woman you stay near my noise.

The future's strewn with curiosities:
my Ph.D., your Ph.D., or so.
The world revolt ends that validity,
and then there'd be your smile, some laughs, or no.

               -19 November, 1984-


               Alleged Mid-Life Crisis

So you are to be a poem poster child:
I did not know that that was the choice
--To be a thought living by not running wild--
or say by telephoning that hearing has a voice.

A pledge of gratitude is due to Judy -
for blond bathtub beauty in baby blue jeans...
From the super Safeway store calls duty:
Without buyers is the cloud of things we need.

               -7 February, 1993-


               Ophelia

Three men in the world, with your mom,
peek into your crib, just at dawn.
This crowd that's framed for your sweet face,
then turns to her, all round with praise.

"I am happy she is perfect," says her dad.
He will work to bring the good, shut out the bad.
"She looks like you did," the second man says,
and sets his watch and acts sort of lazy.

Those peepers, girl mouth, button nose,
are cuter than my cat is, I suppose.

               -4 November, 1994-


               Octavia

Before you lost your baby's stare,
after a long cry that left you damp,
I looked into the mirror of your tiny lamp
and saw your Mom.  Your father wasn't there.

It was a chance to play a role:
to find an expression that might relate,
through lack of words, to helpless plight
and so to reassure an infant's soul.

The pose that made us glad was, I would be
behind my eyes for years for her and me.

               -5 February, 1995-


February 21, 1995

Doug-

We received this E-mail entitled "Valentine" last week.  Whatever
your intentions may have been, our perception of this mail was as an
inappropriate expression of affection towards me.  This expression is
not appreciated, nor is it reciprocated.  At this time we do not
feel it is necessary to needlessly hurt or involve my mom.  However,
if this type of expression continues in any way, we have no choice
but to discontinue contact with you.  Erich and I value the
relationship we have with you and my mom.  We also enjoy the time we
spend together.  Please stop any inappropriate expression of
affection toward me so that the four of us can continue to enjoy a
positive and healthy relationship.

Sincerely,

Jean  and  Erich


               Coupling Jean

All your years I searched, finding
only Gail, who left me mad - now
mad about you, Jean, this Platonic
carnal unconditional love I for you.

Jean Kennedy Snow Denison, I
want you, to grow Aynla inside us,
till she bursts like a sunflower upon
the perimeters of those who love you.ang

Jean, in yabyum to you during the Eternal,
I would never tire of that happy coupling.

               -12 November, 1995-


               Aynla

In a shell of light in outer Parker,
there lives a toddler, Aynla Rust
(the daughter of the wife).
To get there, go through Morrison.

               -2 December, 1995-


               Prayer

Eternal God -
Praise your infinite power.
Thank you for bringing
me to Jean Denison.
Know my unconditional love for Jean,
and store for me her pleasures in heaven.
In Olivia's name I pray,
Amen

               -15 December, 1995-


               To Jean K. From D. Ohmans

The mother of Olivia is more lovely
than ever eyes had feasted on, and
when she turned 30, the poor virgin
who might have fathered her at 20
had loved her for years and years.

               -12 January, 1996-


               The Mistress' Touch

After flipping like a spinner,
one resolution was left in him:
To touch her hand, since
hands are touched by all men.

D held out his hand like a beggar.
J held out her hand like a donor,
and then her natural bemusement began:
she hauled him to his feet again.

The next day all society was transformed
by her, as the unemployed had prayed.

               -15 January, 1996-


               2 June, 1996

Dear Mom and Doug,
     Thank you so much for driving down
to Parker for Olivia's birthday!  She's
loving the "People Bopper."  I think
every adult needs one of those - with
custom stickers for the faces.  It would
save on a lot of therapy and ulcer
medication!  Seriously, Olivia has really
been enjoying.  The matching shapes are
great.
     Thanks also for the beautiful doll!
The hand made sweater, hat, jumper and
little dress will be life long treasures
of Olivia's.  Most likely she will
con you into making clothes for her
own daughter's little dolls.
     Thanks again!  See you at Philip's
party!
               Love,
               Jean and Olivia


               Jean on TV

You walked before me to Chicago's pier,
a Berlin goddess raised in Laramie.
That toque we took began a second marriage,
for every minute since I'm drawn to you.

My love for you is at a flashpoint, Jean.
In "Werther," Goethe wrote of such a scene.
I dragged the world to find you - wedding Erich:
Coupling thus becoming...esoteric.

The only life outside your life that's love
is little Livvy Jean, if she were mine.
That joy is void, for I'm not Him, nor him.
So love moves to the self where it began.

               -20 July, 1996-


               She said No

Jean K. Denison
Will you marry me?
In Eternity?

               -24 January, 1997-

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Boca Your five kids hide beneath your cotton skirt, and yet your mother's body's like a girl's. Brown hair, brown eyes, brown skin a mystery - a pouting fierce expression's on your lips. -3 April, 1999- Marina Cuñada Marina, amor mio, corazon - Tu eres la solucion mia. Quiero entrar en su casita, mi bella estrella de Mexico. Madre seis veces de criadas, Sea la mia nuestra noche y mande tu fantasia a mi, mujer de cientos de virtudes. Marina Jimenez Guerrero: amo mi señora de los sueños. -19 April, 1999- Who is Marina Cristina She is a ray of the Eternal Feminine, Esposa cuñada for all Eternity, the other man's woman, sister of lover and mother. -11 September, 2004- Machismo 1998 In Estados Unidos if you love a woman, be she a hawk or a dove, at any moment there may be summoned the man guarding this feminine human. A macho agenda is better though - men's thoughts don't overlap in Mexico, yet you could be a back-up for one's kids: thus you may love my wife because of this. At the first surge of my urge for his wife her sister became a way I could splice. -26 January, 2005- Concepcion "During 'satya yuga' children, we are told, came into being through fervent and loving wish." I love you "goddaughter" was a bit too bold: that title was awarded to someone named Smith. Then the flip is switched. The cast must die. Now man and woman learn endlessly merging. No shell shall exist to moderate one's urging but a sisterly girl's time of linear flight. It is lucky for me that still in my life, deals with Concha have made her my wife. -4 July, 2006- Concha v Marina Her belly is as soft as the breast of a dove Yet it was always Concha who gave me her love. She is drawn to me for thrills twenty-four seven But Concha not sister assented to heaven. The cat is gone, the dog still howling at the moon. I am wanting to love Marina sometime soon. Adriana's in braids, bursting out of her gear. The parts of one's castle connect by spiral stair. Except for Pueblo there's Judy, Jean and Sarah, Chito, Mario, Erich, Alexis, Mayra. -27 October, 2007- "O Thou most glorious Lord! Make this little maidservant of Thine blessed and happy; cause her to be cherished at the threshold of Thy one- ness and let her drink deep from the cup of Thy love so that she may be filled with rapture and ecstasy and diffuse sweet-scented fragrance. Thou art the Mighty and the Powerful, and Thou art the All-knowing, the All-Seeing." -'Abdu'l-Bahá, "For Girls"-


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