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Author Jim Devine
Date 05/04/27/13:22
Hit Count 736

Impending Nuptials Alter President's Gay Marriage Stance [by Andy Borowitz]

In a stunning development that could alter both the politics of oil in
the Middle East and the politics of gay marriage in the United States,
President George W. Bush and Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah announced
today that they would wed this June.

Tongues began wagging after President Bush greeted the Saudi prince at
his Crawford, Texas ranch today with a passionate hug and a kiss,
igniting rumors that the two men were more than just good friends.

Former Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry, who was accused of
being overly affectionate in public with his then-running mate, Sen.
John Edwards, while on the 2004 campaign trail, was one of the first
to note the steamy display between Mr. Bush and Prince Abdullah.

"John and I looked pretty gay, I'll admit, but not as gay as these
two," said Mr. Kerry. "I was like, get a room!"

The announcement that Mr. Bush was set for a trip to the altar with a
Saudi prince immediately raised the ire of gay marriage foes, who saw
the president's decision as a cruel betrayal.

Hundreds of protesters appeared outside the Crawford ranch moments
after the announcement, carrying signs reading, "No Love For Oil."

While Mr. Bush acknowledged that his decision to marry Prince Abdullah
represents a startling U-turn in his position on gay marriage, he
said, "When a Saudi billionaire asks you to marry him, you have to say

Elsewhere, Kentucky Fried Chicken today sued Wendy's, claiming that if
Wendy's is placing human fingers in their chili they are infringing on
KFC's "finger licking good" trademark.

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