|Author||John K. Doherty|
|I was traveling between Phoenix and Chicago the other day and south of
Kansas City when a tire blew out.
Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat. My only option was to
flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town.
The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van. He yelled out the
window, "Need a lift?"
"Yes, I sure do," I replied.
"You a Democrat or Republican?" asked the old man.
"Democrat," I replied.
"Well, you can just go to Hell," yelled the old man as he sped off.
Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked me the same
Again, I gave the same answer, "Democrat." The driver gave me the finger
and drove off.
I thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my strategy,
since this area seemed to be overly political and there appeared to be few
The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde.
She smiled seductively and asked if I was a Democrat or Republican.
"Republican" I shouted.
"Hop in!" replied the blonde.
Driving down the road, I couldn't help but stare at this gorgeous woman
in the seat next to me, the wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts,
and a short skirt that continued to ride higher and higher up her thighs.
Finally, I yelled, "Please stop the car." She immediately slammed on the
brakes and as soon as the car stopped, I jumped out. "What's the matter?"
"I can't take it anymore," I replied. "I've only been a Republican for
five minutes and, already, I want to screw somebody!"