webshells.com/nwuco Forum
webshells.com/nwuco Forum
| Author | Etta Debenham |
| Date | 01/02/13/08:15 |
| Hit Count | 796 |
| HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN AN INSANE WORLD" 1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3) Insist that your email address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com 4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing. 6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN." 7) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.' 8) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think!" 9) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy." 10) Dont use any punctuation 11) As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 12) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. 13) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 14) Sing along at the opera. 15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 16) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the rest room, in Stall #3." 17) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. 18) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. 19) Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything. 20) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard. 21) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!" 22) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!" 23) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." 24) Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!" And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.... 25) Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this. ========================== |