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Bulwar Lytton contest winners
Author Laine Whitcomb
Date 00/07/17/09:25
Hit Count 325

These are the 10 winners of this year's Bulwar Lytton contest,
wherein one writes only the first line of a novel.
10) "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to
break wind in the sound chamber he would never hear the end of it."

9) "Just beyond the Narrows the river widens."

8) "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a
tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair,
deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth
that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a
beauty that defied description."

7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he
crept along the East wall: "Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre

6) "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of
narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back-alley
sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved."

5) "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep
her from eking out a living at a local pet store."

4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then
penguins often do."

3) "Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese,
the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."

2) "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the
meaning of the word "fear," a man who could laugh in the face of
danger and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal


1) "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept
along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the
castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat,
crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden
amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's
deception, screaming madly, "You lied!"

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