|Poll: In Head-to-Head Matchup, Obama Who Ran in 2008 Would Trounce Current Obama
Popularity of Old Obama Spells Trouble for New One
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – According to a new poll of likely
Democratic voters, if a primary contest were held today between the
Barack Obama who ran for President in 2008 and the current Obama, the
Old Obama would beat the New Obama by a margin of three to one.
While the numbers reflect the enduring popularity of the 2008 Obama,
they spell big trouble for the 2011 Obama, who is seeking reelection
Most troubling for the President, a significant number of voters --
nearly twenty-five percent -- no longer believe that the 2008 Obama
and the current Obama are the same person.
At the White House, press secretary Jay Carney attempted to silence
the skepticism of the so-called “Differenters,” the growing movement
of people who believe that the 2008 Obama and the current one are two
completely different men.
“The President has said that he is willing to submit to a DNA test and
he will be releasing a Certificate of Authenticity later this week,”
Mr. Carney said. “Beyond that, we’re just going to have to take his
word for it.”
In other political news, Texas Governor Rick Perry said today that he
would participate in future Republican debates only if they were “open
At a rally in South Carolina, Gov. Perry explained why he was uniquely
qualified to be President: “The way I understand it, the main job of
the executive branch is executing people.”