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leaked memo reveals U.S. Senate's Compromise Health Care Plan
Author Jim Devine
Date 09/12/17/08:42
Hit Count 633

Leaked Memo reveals Senate CompromiseCare

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - The United States Senate today
unveiled details of its health care plan, tentatively called
CompromiseCare (TM):

Under CompromiseCareTM, people with no coverage will be allowed to
keep their current plan.

* Medicare will be extended to 55-year-olds as soon as they turn 65.

*You will have access to cheap Canadian drugs if you live in Canada.

*States whose names contain vowels will be allowed to opt out of the plan.

*You get to choose which doctor you cannot afford to see.

*You will not have to be pre-certified to qualify for cremation.

*A patient will be considered "pre-existing" if he or she already exists.

*You'll be free to choose between medications and heating fuel.

*Patients can access quality health care if they can prove their name
is "Lieberman."

*You will have access to natural remedies, such as your demise.

*The Public Option: all U.S. citizens have access to emergency rooms
at public hospitals.

[edited: I added one point.]

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