webshells.com/nwuco Forum
webshells.com/nwuco Forum
| Author | Jim Devine |
| Date | 09/12/17/08:42 |
| Hit Count | 731 |
| Leaked Memo reveals Senate CompromiseCare
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - The United States Senate today unveiled details of its health care plan, tentatively called CompromiseCare (TM): Under CompromiseCareTM, people with no coverage will be allowed to keep their current plan. * Medicare will be extended to 55-year-olds as soon as they turn 65. *You will have access to cheap Canadian drugs if you live in Canada. *States whose names contain vowels will be allowed to opt out of the plan. *You get to choose which doctor you cannot afford to see. *You will not have to be pre-certified to qualify for cremation. *A patient will be considered "pre-existing" if he or she already exists. *You'll be free to choose between medications and heating fuel. *Patients can access quality health care if they can prove their name is "Lieberman." *You will have access to natural remedies, such as your demise. *The Public Option: all U.S. citizens have access to emergency rooms at public hospitals. [edited: I added one point.] |