|Nukeless Nation 'Not Evil Enough,' Says Korean Madman [by Andy Borowitz]
ONE DAY AFTER a National Intelligence Estimate revealed that Iran
halted its nuclear arms program in 2003, North Korean president Kim
Jong-Il ejected Iran from the Axis of Evil, calling them "not evil
A visibly furious Kim called a press conference in Pyongyang today to
excoriate the Iranians as "evildoer wannabes" and "pussies."
"I can't tell you how many times Mahmoud Ahmadinejad looked me in the
eye, told me he was developing nuclear weapons, and cackled like a
madman," Kim said. "That man does not deserve to cackle."
Kim added that when Iran was admitted into the Axis of Evil in 2002,
"they knew the rules: no nukes, no membership."
The National Intelligence Estimate, Kim said, showed that Iran was not
holding up their end of the bargain: "They said they were enriching
uranium and all the while they were going all Libya on my ass."
In the first step towards formally removing Iran from the evil
organization, the North Korean strongman said he was "un-inviting" Mr.
Ahmadinejad from the Axis of Evil's winter golf outing in Scottsdale,
In a terse statement from Mr. Ahmadinejad, the Iranian president said
he would agree not to attend the outing but wanted his deposit back.
As for who would take Iran's place in the Axis of Evil, Kim said there
was no shortage of candidates: "Right now we're looking at Venezuela,
Syria, and Rupert Murdoch."