|TB Guy Tops Bush in New Poll
Latest Sign of Trouble for White House [by Andy Borowitz]
In the latest erosion of President George W. Bush's job approval
rating, a new poll released today reveals that Mr. Bush is now less
popular among the American people than the so-called "TB Guy," Atlanta
attorney Andrew Speaker.
While the president's approval numbers have been in a virtual
free-fall in recent months, few political insiders expected him to be
trounced by Mr. Speaker, who has been accused of exposing airline
passengers to tuberculosis.
Additionally, the poll results are historic in another way, since they
mark the first time that a sitting president has been deemed less
popular than a quarantined disease carrier.
But at the White House today, official spokesman Tony Snow tried to
put a positive spin on the numbers, saying that Mr. Speaker's poll
numbers received an artificial "bounce" as a result of all of the
press coverage he has received in recent days.
"If President Bush had been quarantined for spreading tuberculosis
around the world, his numbers would be right up there with the TB
Guy's," Mr. Snow claimed.
Perhaps in an attempt to change the subject, President Bush
participated in a ceremony today in which he declared victory over
peace activist Cindy Sheehan.
Posing in front of a banner reading "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" on the
aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln, Mr. Bush said that Ms. Sheehan's
departure from the peace movement means "I won't have to spend this
August in Crawford hiding in the barn."